A different kind of love
One of the most important things you can teach your children is that dogs dont like hugs and kisses. This is a tough lesson, because many (if not most) dog owners simply do not believe it themselves.
Children learn early on that giving hugs to parents, siblings, and stuffed animals is a way to show love and affection. The desire to show affection extends naturally to the family dog. To a child, the family dog is just an animated stuffed animal.
Sadly, this desire to show affection to the family dog is a major cause of facial bites to children. Dogs may tolerate hugs from kids, but few actually enjoy this type of attention. If a dog does more than tolerate this inappropriate handling, it is only on the dog’s own terms—when the dog comes to the child for attention, and only if the child does not hug tightly or hang on too long. There is no dog that loves hugs from kids anytime, anywhere, anyhow.
Listen to the experts, including the dogs!
How do we know this? In part it is because every dog behavior expert tells us so. For example, world renowned expert and author Patricia McConnell in her wonderful book "For the Love of a Dog" says that she has at least 50 photos of kids hugging dogs and in not one of them is the dog happy about it. We also know because dogs tell us and dogs dont tell lies.
If your dog is enjoying a hug he will do one or more of the following:
- Ask for more if you stop
- Lean into you
- Relax and close his eyes
- Pant and wag his tail with a loose body
If your dog is not enjoying a hug he will do one or more of the following:
- Turn his head away from you
- Lick your face repeatedly
- Lick his lips or flick his tongue out
- Yawn
- Lick or chew at himself
- Sneeze
- Wriggle to get away
- Hold his body tense
- Shake off vigorously when you let go
- Show a half of moon of white in his eye
- Wag his tail stiffly
Here is a video of a nice dog showing a typical reaction to a hug from a child. He is tolerating, but not enjoying the interaction.
This is the type of dog about whom the owners will say "he just loves the kids, they can do anything to him". If you hear yourself saying these words, then take a close look and see what the dog is really saying. In the vast majority of cases, the dog will be saying (at least some of the time), "I dont like this, please make it stop".
When the dog tells us and we dont listen, eventually he may come to the point that he just cant take it anymore and his only recourse is to use his teeth to say clearly "stop that".
Prevention is the key
When the dog tells us and we dont listen, eventually he may come to the point that he just cant take it anymore and his only recourse is to use his teeth to say clearly "stop that".
Be an advocate for your kids and your dog, intervene and allow only interactions that the dog truly does enjoy.
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